By Benicio Ortiz / Full360 REporter

Starting college comes with its share of stresses – fitting into a new friend group, time management, social media distractions and triggers. Help on campus is available. 

Students at Delaware Valley University in Doylestown Pa. often experience what is known as social stress. Director of Counseling Services Sharon E. Donnelly, a licensed professional counselor, weighed in on her more than 20 years of experience on campus helping students cope with social stress and other pressures.

“Students can feel like they might not fit into due to campus culture or might feel like an outsider for many different reasons. They may wonder if they feel like they belong,” Donnelly said.

A low support network, improper time management and social media can trigger common social stress stressors. This doesn’t mean they’re the only causes, as there are stressors that affect those on the individual level as mentioned prior. In addition, interpersonal conflicts and being a victim of rumors or hate towards the individual for who they also increase social stress.

Lauren Caruvana, a Senior Criminal Justice major, is such a person who has dealt with the darker parts of social stress. She’s from Staten Island NY, where she describes it as a place of diversity, not only in culture and ethnicity but also thought. It’s a place full of acceptance and where you can find your people, she said. When she came to Delaware Valley University, she felt the opposite, a complete culture shook. 

“I felt Impostor syndrome and I felt scared. So in the back of my mind there was somewhat of a pressure of like, I’m going to have to conform if I want to find friends because I don’t see a single person here, who even slightly looks like they would like me…” Caruvana said when asked about starting a new social life and finding friends.

During her first 2 months she locked her true self away and tried to act like those around her and the more she did, the deeper into her depression that she sunk. Eventually she tossed away the facade and returned to her roots. When she did she was met with bigotry and hate. There were rough times with rumors being spread about her being a worshiping Satanist all because she had a Motley Crew poster that had a pentagram. As well as being scorn for how she dressed and did her makeup, but yet she preserved and pulled through. 

She got a job at the school library, and they’ve supported and accepted her at her lowest and when she felt that no one else on campus would. She was able to grow into that niche community and make connections that have uplifted her for the rest of her time at Delaware Valley University. She also has people at home, both friends and family that she cherishes very deeply.

“I have great great friends at home. I wouldn’t trade those friendships for the world, so even though I might feel lonely at College, I am so rich, like so rich with the friends I have at home,” Caruvana said when talking about facing loneliness on campus.

On the opposite side of the spectrum is Vanessa Conley, a Junior Zoo Science major, who has found herself adapting to this new environment fairly well. She’s from Acton Ma, a place where she knows who’s who and where ideas and views lie. Much like Caruvana, she was scared when coming to this new area and starting a new life. When she came she was put into a suite with a group that had an open vacancy. They were hesitant about her, but when they got to know her they welcomed her into their group. 

Right from the get go Conley had found a friend group who allowed her to be herself and even offered branches to new opportunities to meet new people and try different things. They would invite and encourage her to tag along with them to the clubs they were in or just general group activities. Being an already easy going person she was able to grow and make new connections outside her kind roommates. She has been able to find her people and has been able to grow her support network even when her home is 300 miles away.

“Just be open to talking to people,” Vanessa said, “Latch onto them and don’t let go,” Vanessa said jokingly when asked what she recommended students do to help better socialize. 

Tips to Help Cope with Social Stress on Campus:

• Take breaks from social media and news
• Get enough sleep, food, and movement
• Stay connected to supportive people
• Be honest about how you’re feeling
• Avoid comparison and pressure to “keep up”
• Give yourself time to adjust to new environments
• Practice self-acceptance, not perfection
• Set boundaries with people and commitments
• Ask for help when stress feels overwhelming

Source: Penn State University